Renaming your boat

Most maritime-related superstitious beliefs stem from Abrahamic monotheistic religions such as Christianity. But renaming your boat calls on the favours of the Greek god of water and the sea; Poseidon. Naturally, the Roman remake of the myth was Neptune but in essence, these are for the purpose of renaming your boat one and the same.

First of all, what is the problem here? Well, it is believed that renaming your boat brings bad luck. As a consequence of renaming your boat, equipment will start failing, the crew will become ill and ultimately your boat will sink and all on board will die.

The reason for all these calamities is clear. Poseidon controls the seas and all that is in or on it, including all vessels. The latter he does by maintaining a register of all ships. The problem arises when you rename your boat after which the register incorrectly reflects actuals. Poseidon’s way to fix this imbalance is to simply sink your boat because it is no longer registered on his ledger or at best under the wrong name. After the sinking, the ledger is again up-to-date just like Poseidon likes it. This is not purely an administrative action as there seems to be a fair amount of spite involved as well…

With that in mind, the question begs, “Is it possible to change the name of your boat without incurring the wrath of Poseidon?” The answer is “YES”. Saying this, it is clear we need to appease Poseidon first…

But as with most things in life, there are always additional complications. Poseidon is not working alone here. He has some partners in crime namely the gods of the four winds:

• Boreas the North-Wind,
• Zephryos the West-Wind,
• Notos the South-Wind and
• Euros the East-Wind.

Poseidon uses these deities to do his bidding when he is set on sinking your boat so it is important to appease these four gods as well when you rename your boat.

Okay, so here we are. We need to rename our boat because the previous owners had a very unsophisticated sense of humour, were just thoughtless or the old name lost something in the translation when we imported it. For example, the Brazilian couple that bought the yacht of their dreams named “Pinto” whilst visiting the Med. However, back in Brazil “Pinto” translates to a male’s little frontal appendix.

So how do we go about changing the name of our boat? Well, this needs to be done in stages, with great care and respect and with attention to detail as well as with copious amounts of good quality Champaign. Let us have a look at the steps below…

1. Removing all traces of the old name

All traces of the old name need to be removed from your boat. This is a tricky one because you will be surprised where the boat’s name shows up when you are actually looking for it. Obviously, life rings with the old name are an absolute no-no (you may as well replace them with Besser bricks). However, you need to get down to the little details here like the ship’s bell, tags on life jackets, tenders, logbooks, keyrings, you name it… All evidence of the old name needs to be removed. Also, keep in mind that the new name is to stay well clear of the boat at this point in time. Do not prematurely bring items on board with the new name printed on them.

Next, we need to write the old name on a piece of metal. This can not be stainless or bronze but must be able to rust away over time. The writing must be “méthode d’encre soluble” which means using soluble ink that will dissolve within 1 hour.

2. The purging of the old name

During this part of the process, we can start the official purging ceremony where we speak directly to Poseidon. In preparation, you should invite good friends. They do not have to be mariners but it will help if they are. You will also need a good amount of quality Champaign although I have it from reliable sources that researched the procedure and tabulated the results that Prosecco is now just as appropriate.

When gathered on the foredeck of the vessel, the following must be spoken by the skipper and seconded by the guests.

“Oh almighty and prodigious sovereign of the seven seas, to whom we pay homage each time we enter into your infinite realm, I (insert your name here), the skipper of (insert your boat’s old name here) beseech you in your wisdom and kindness to purge forever from your archives the name (mention the old boat name for the very last time in the ceremony), for cessation of her name has come to pass in your dominion. I submit this offering bearing her name, to be degraded through your powers and time be purged from your ledger for all times.”

You should now offer the metal strip on which you wrote the old name with soluble ink and drop it in the water one meter in front of the bow. Then continue speaking these words:

“In gratifying acceptance of your generosity and indulgence, we offer this accolade to you Poseidon, and your splendorous kingdom.”

All guest and crew must raise their glasses and toast his name:

“To Poseidon”

Then after taking a generous sip all in attendance must offer some of their Champagne (or Prosecco) to Poseidon. This will end the old name-purging ceremony. It is now important to focus on ushering in the new name…

3. The renaming ceremony

Now that the old name is purged from the ledger, we need to get the new name on there ASAP. It is like driving a car without insurance. All the hard work is done so this part should not take long.

Still on the forward deck and facing the nearest open waters, the skipper simply speaks these words:

“Oh glorious and splendid ruler of the seven seas that gird us all, on which we sail and venture for toil and pleasure and to which we pay our respect, I beseech you in your kindness to enter unto your ledger and recollection this most earnest vessel hereafter and for all time known as (say the new name of your boat), safeguarding her with your vast powers and holy trident and guaranteeing her a safe and speedy passage during her voyages within your realm.”

“In gratifying acceptance of your generosity and indulgence, we offer these accolades to you Poseidon, and your splendorous kingdom.”

The crew then says “To Poseidon” whilst raising their glasses after which they must take a generous sip. At the same time, the skipper only offers the remains of the champagne bottle into the waters. Done…

4. Appeasing the four Gods of Wind

After the new name is offered, it is wise to address the Gods of Wind. One can do this as follows:

All facing North

The skipper must say the following words after which he offers some of his Champagne to Boreas :

“Glorious Boreas, the noble ruler of the North Wind, license us to apply your almighty powers in the pursuit of our sailing endeavours.”

Directly after the skipper’s offering, the Crew must raise their glass and say the following after which they must take a generous sip:

“To Boreas”

All facing West

The skipper must say the following words after which he offers some of his Champagne to Zephyrus:

“Magnificent Zephyrus, the noble ruler of the West Wind, license us to apply your almighty powers in the pursuit of our sailing endeavours.”

Directly after the skipper’s offering, the Crew must raise their glass and say the following after which they must take a generous sip:

“To Zephyrus”

All facing East

The skipper must say the following words after which he offers some of his Champagne to Eurus:

“Great Eurus, the noble ruler of the East Wind, license us to apply your almighty powers in the pursuit of our sailing endeavours.”

Directly after the skipper’s offering, the Crew must raise their glass and say the following after which they must take a generous sip:

“To Eurus”

All facing South

The skipper must say the following words after which he offers some of his Champagne to Notus:

“Celebrated Notus, the noble ruler of the South Wind, license us to apply your almighty powers in the pursuit of our sailing endeavours.”

Directly after the skipper’s offering, the Crew must raise their glass and say the following after which they must take a generous sip:

“To Notus”

You get the drift… Done and dusted. It is now safe to leave the marina or anchorage and follow your dreams…