History is about to get a serious upgrade tonight, folks — and not because someone finally figured out how to stop socks from disappearing in the laundry. No, we’re talking about the ultimate sailing record — the fastest trip around the globe by a vessel powered entirely by wind and an unhealthy amount of caffeine.

At around midnight (because breaking records is always more dramatic in the middle of the night), Loick Peyron and his 13-strong crew aboard the 130ft trimaran Banque Populaire are expected to blast across the official finish line between The Lizard and Ushant. And by blast, we mean they’ll be setting a new record of just over 45 days — faster than it takes most people to assemble flat-pack furniture.

This will make Banque Populaire the fastest yacht in history and claim the title of the mightiest and most self-sufficient ocean vessel of all time. Even a nuclear submarine — the ones built to go underwater and all that jazz — couldn’t keep up, with a top speed of around 30-33 knots. Banque Populaire hit 43.2 knots yesterday, probably while someone was still trying to find the coffee machine.

British crew member Brian Thompson casually reported the speed while helming, as if announcing the weather forecast. For these guys, 30 knots is just another Tuesday — their target average speed. Meanwhile, most of us get a speeding ticket for going half that on the highway.

This maxi trimaran is basically the James Bond of the ocean — sleek, ridiculously fast, and impossible to beat in any condition. Add in the crew’s technical skills, and you’ll have the pinnacle of human ingenuity at sea. If Poseidon himself turned up on a seahorse, he’d probably nod and say, “Fair play, lads.”

Spanish navigator Juan Vila hasn’t revealed the total distance sailed yet—possibly because he’s still trying to count that high—but a typical Jules Verne Trophy attempt covers around 28,000 miles. However, Banque Populaire went even further south than any contender before, hitting 62°S —practically the Antarctic’s front porch—and then back up to 52°N.

If our maths checks out (and it rarely does without a calculator), they’ve averaged over 622 miles a day at 26 knots. That’s the kind of mileage that makes your average frequent flyer cry into their complimentary peanuts.

What’s poetic about all this is that when the boat was launched four years ago, the goal was always to crack 45 days. It took two attempts — the first one got cut short when they hit something in the water (probably an iceberg playing hard to get) — but they’ve finally done it. And they’ve smashed the previous record by nearly three days, proving that persistence pays off, especially if you’re French and have a boat the size of a small spaceship.

Loick Peyron also adds a little family rivalry by breaking the record previously held by his older brother Bruno. Christmas dinner at the Peyron household will be exciting this year.

Stay tuned for more updates, photos, and whatever random facts I can dig up about the voyage — because if there’s one thing sailors love more than breaking records, it’s talking about breaking records.